I Write Sins, Not Tragedies
by randomharmony13
Summary: Oh no, Fred is about to get married to the love of his life, and George is no where to be seen! Well, there is a reason for everything, and things aren't how they seem. Cho bashing and no slash/incest!


**I Write Sins, Not Tragedies**

**Summery**: Oh, no, Fred is about to get married to the love of his life, and his twin brother George and all his friends aren't here yet! Well, there's a reason for everything, and things aren't what they seem. If you like Cho, do not read! Then again, are there people who still like Cho? (dodges tomatoes thrown by Cho Chang fans)

**A/N: I'm breaking my H/Hr streak in honor of Fred's (sniffle) untimely passing in the seventh book! Why did Rowling have to be so cruel?!**

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Panic! At the Disco or their song. The story is based on the music video with a few twists of my own. I thank my friend's brother for showing me the song a few months ago. I suggest watching the video first before reading, but that's your choice. I also (sob) don't own Harry Potter. I was actually planning it to be a Harry/Cho wedding with Ron singing, but this song fit the twins perfectly!

_

* * *

Where are they? The wedding is going to start in an hour!_ thought Fred as he looked at his pocket watch. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, Fred Weasley was getting married to the love of his life, Cho Chang. A few people are probably looking at their computer screens with raised eyebrows at his choice seeing as though he didn't seem to be the least bit interested in her during the DA. Well, this is Fred Weasley. Of course, he's going to be unpredictable. Speaking of unpredictable, where the bloody hell is George when his twin brother is about to get married?!

* * *

"Okay, guys. Are you ready?" asked George. He was wearing a black top hat and a red suit. He looked just like a ring master in a circus with the black baton with white tips and white gloves. In front of him were all of DA and some of the Order minus his brother and Cho.

"We're ready, George, but are you sure about this?" asked Ginny as she put on some clown's makeup.

"I am very sure. Ron, you brought the things from my shop right?" asked George, turning over to his little brother. Ron lifted up a small bag of silver dust.

"Got it, George," said Ron as Luna helped him into some metal stilts, making him even taller than normal. George nodded.

"Harry, you hooked up the boom box, right?" asked George. Harry waved from the mess of wires.

"Yup. The music is going to be sent to the surround system in the church," said Harry who had his hair in a black (please don't laugh) ponytail as per George's instructions. _Time to shake up this wedding_. thought George with a mischievous smile as he touched the rim of his hat.

* * *

Fred was at the alter and looked in horror that the groom's side of the church was completely empty while Cho's side was filled with many people that Fred didn't even know. He was worried that something may have happened to his family and friends and thought about postponing the whole thing. His mother ran across the alter and got on her tiptoes to whisper into his ear.

"Don't worry. Everyone will be coming soon. They got a bit…delayed," said Molly Weasley reassuringly. Fred nodded and gave his mother a quick kiss on the cheek before she bustled back to wherever she was before instead of sitting down where she was supposed to. Fred took a deep breath as he heard the wedding music played by Cho's father. Cho walked in, radiantly as usual, coming down the alter and coming towards Fred.

"We are gathered here today to witness the holy matrimony of this fine young couple…" said the elderly priest.

"I love you," whispered Cho.

"I love you too," whispered Fred with a smile.

"This is an absolutely beautiful wedding," whispered Marietta to Stephanie. Meanwhile…

* * *

"Good luck, George!" said Angelina as she gave him a quick kiss on the lips. George smiled and nodded as she ran over to the other side of the church.

"George, get your voice ready," said Hermione as she stretched her legs. George nodded and twirled over to the door of the church, not opening it yet. He cleared his voice and sang softly as Harry started the music that the people inside the church were sure to hear. He put on the muggle headphones that Hermione had given him.

_**Oh, well imagine as I pace through the pews of a church corridor**_

_**And I can't help but to hear **_

_**No, I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words:**_

"_**What a beautiful wedding!**_

_**What a beautiful wedding!" says a bridesmaid to a waiter**_

"_**Yes, but what a shame.**_

_**What a shame the poor groom's bride is a whore."**_

That last word was enough to make George angry enough to kick the door open. He burst into the room, making everyone turn around and look at his strange clothing. Cho was looking at him indignantly at the "whore" comment.

_**I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamned door?!"**_

_**No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality!**_

All of the DA start coming into the church from all entrances wearing circus costumes that made Cho looked indignant while making Fred both confused and amused.

_**I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamned door?!"**_

_**No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of…**_

George made all of DA sit on the groom's side with a lowering of his right arm. He walked over to Fred and stood behind him.

_**Well, in fact**_

_**Well, I'll look at it this way**_

_**I mean technically our marriage is saved.**_

Fred looked at his brother strangely while George ignored his expression.

_**Well, this calls for a toast **_

_**So pour the champagne.**_

George then walked over and stood behind a very irate Cho while the priest had no idea what to do.

_**Oh! Well, in fact**_

_**Well, I'll look at it this way**_

_**I mean technically our marriage is saved**_

_**Well, this calls for a toast**_

_**So pour the champagne, pour the champagne**_

Ron stood up and took out a handful of the Weasley Epiphany silver powder from his pocket. George smiled. This would make all of the people realize just what a whore Cho was and keep them from interrupting George's little performance. Ron blew it over all of the people on Cho's side. They shook their heads, and realization started to dawn on their faces. They stood up, along with the DA.

_**I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamned door?!"**_

_**No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality!**_

Everyone started to dance with the music and ignored the bride and groom, who were arguing while George was walking among the dancers. Harry was able to balance on one hand while his legs were in the air and one hand on his hat. When he got back up, he gave Hermione a boost to make her do a back flip. Ron was busy juggling pins while Luna made a tornado of sparkles that surrounded the whole room and darted around the dancers. Ginny was able to balance on a giant rubber ball while Neville hit Draco with a wooden slapstick. (A/N: Don't even ask why Draco is here! It's just a funny image!)

_**I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamned door?!"**_

_**No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality!**_

Cho ran away from a begging Fred and out of the church with her best friend, Anthony Goldstein, chasing after her.

_**Again…**_

Fred looked at George with a betrayed expression while George grimaced and walked over to his brother and grabbed his tie.

_**I'd chime in, "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamned door?!"**_

George pointed at the door with his black baton where Anthony and Cho just left.

_**No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality!**_

George dragged Fred by the tie out of the church with Ron, Harry, and the DA trailing behind them. They walked out the door.

_**I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamned door?!"**_

George pointed towards his left to show Fred Cho snogging Anthony Goldstein. Fred's jaw dropped as he ripped off his tie. Cho looked surprised and mouthed 'sorry' while Ron and Harry held Fred back. George stepped in front of Fred and sang in front of his face,

_**No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality!**_

Fred nodded, realizing that he wasn't going to act crazy about this because it wasn't worth his time. He ripped off his tuxedo and waved his wand, changing his clothes to a ringmaster just like George. George smiled and gave him a brotherly hug. Gred was back.

_**Again…**_

"You know, you guys could've just showed me that she was cheating. You didn't have to do a whole circus act! Not that I don't appreciate it! I mean, that's the best you've looked all year, Ron!" said Fred, looking at Ron who had a big red clown nose.

"Oh, sod off! George made us put on all of this stuff!" grumbled Ron as he yanked the ball off. George smiled.

"Well, telling you wouldn't have been nearly as fun!" said George, twirling around the black baton, "Besides, we found a sin and didn't want it to turn into a tragedy!"

**A/N: How was it? It was just a silly idea that I got while watching the music video. I just happened to be obsessed with the song the day I wrote this. I actually did it in a few hours in between writing my English essay, of which I should probably be getting back to since it's nearly 11, and I still have Chemistry! Oi vey. Please review and tell me if I did the music video and the song justice!**


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